Rumblings! of an artist

I feel I have been to measured and concerned lately with correct grammar,spelling and consistency. You know those things which show worth and maintenance, professionalism, discipline, and self control. While these behaviours are beneficial in every aspect of life. They keep you accountable and on your path. Create a gentle flow and help you avoid the roller coaster syndrome of the half arsed, panic what the fuck am I doing noise in your head. To be honest I feel I spend most of my waking life in this measured,diplomatic state. And I say this as an artist. As I feel the business side of my art is my measured, controlled side. The state I am in 99 percent of the time. It is difficult to instantly come out of that state of mind,with lunches to pack, and houses to clean.Precious amazing little people to nurture and attend to. I have responsibilities you know. It occurs to me more and more, how as humans how we are boxing and isolating ourselves in. We do it all  ourselves and we can, and we do.

However the irony is that nobody can achieve anything alone. What about all those people who showed you how to do it all yourself. And now you can do it all yourself. What then? Are we still aiming for then end goal to earn a living from our art. Are we now making it even harder for ourselves by learning how do it ourselves, then do it ourselves and then keep maintaining that persona. Or do we forget all about the DIY how to be an artist today and start knocking on doors, (which is a psychological hurdle in itself) and will that help?Just because your work is in art galleries doesn't mean it will sell. Maybe on ebay or etsy. Will that contribute to my grand vision of the world and will I make money. Is it money I am really worried about or pretending I fit in with a certain niche. I wonder sometimes if DIY is just not another psychological deviation society has allowed us to foster. Another tool for us procrastinate on to keep us feeling safe and from the criticism of others. After all when we do it ourselves rarely do we have someone looking over our shoulder saying I'm not so sure about that. I don't think that is going to work. Contributing to someone Else's vision. Is that such a bad thing. Feeling like you have sold out to the pomp and glory. I'm an artist I have my own vision of the world. I have a point to make and I am going to show you even if I die trying. Is DIY not just another creative tool to create vision. What to do with all this DIY.

Once upon a time artist had no control over their artwork. They were primarily concerned with making art. And relied on dealers collectors and philanthropists to promote, support and patron their existence. They were at their mercy. These days the latter still exists and I think will always have a place in art. Even though we are all out their DIYing. In fact when the world is in turmoil and governments crack down on spending arts is usually the first branch to be cut. God only knows why. Art has all the answers, artists know that.The rest of world is still to catch on. So to keep the art wheels moving it is the dealers collectors and philanthropists that have always sustained the arts. Like me you may have never felt the generous offering of well to do benefactor. And most of us won't in our life times. But I some how romantically believe that their generous offerings and support flow through the system which keeps art at the very least in the subconscious of peoples thoughts.

I'll continue to DIY, but I now no. I really want to spend 50% of my time in the studio. .The side that take risks,challenges life, and that is not concerned with political correctness, spelling and grammar.And the other 50% organising adventurous family travels where we together experience and contribute to living.And lustful romantic breaks with my husband. After all he is my life partner. I really need to look after him a whole lot better than I have been. I don't want to be writing grants, updating facebook and my blog. I want someone else to do all that. Wouldn't that be nice! I had better get back to the DIY then hadn't I. :)

Candyxx 'there was movement at the station'